with these my smile will last
It's been some time since i was last able to have a breather. it's nice to lie on my bed not just before bed time, just to reflect on the day, getting all comfortable and know that i am home. though tired, i know that time's on my side, for a while at least.
This break from work is nice, but it will end some day. it's not as if i do not know when this day will be, i do. i have to report back to work for the whole of january before things can come to a close, finally.
It has been boring, pretty tough on the mind. especially when things didn't really turn out the way i wanted them to over the course of the past 2 years. it has been frustrating, but the days come and go, and now, it's ending. i tried time and again to change the way things were, only to find disappointment a stranger i had to make friends with. i had to, to smile, to get on with it. he came so often that if a visit to the doctor's didn't end with him around, it'd be weird, although i'd leave with my spirit lifted, and in disbelief.
But time passed anyhow, and i'm here typing this. a deserving break i tell myself. i didn't even foresee how good this would feel. the joy of another chapter of my life is coming to an end, the relief of walking away from work, saying 'goodbye, thank you for the year or so, i'm leaving now'. i never really got involved in work other than my physical presence, i didn't see the need to anyway. i get to work each day looking forward to the end of it. it isin't the best of attitudes i know, but please try to understand. although i still have the same end point in mind, i'm happier each day. not because the day is nearing, but i guess i'm learning. learning to just get on with life, to get along with others, the sun will still set and rise soon after, no?
I hope you could feel the joy inside me, though you probably can't. but it's alright,
i'll dance here on my own :)
Time is running out and i'm starting to get scared really. there's so many of you whom i'd like to talk to, i wish i could chain time right here right now, i do.
but let's just get out into the sun, have some fun, and smile...
This break from work is nice, but it will end some day. it's not as if i do not know when this day will be, i do. i have to report back to work for the whole of january before things can come to a close, finally.
It has been boring, pretty tough on the mind. especially when things didn't really turn out the way i wanted them to over the course of the past 2 years. it has been frustrating, but the days come and go, and now, it's ending. i tried time and again to change the way things were, only to find disappointment a stranger i had to make friends with. i had to, to smile, to get on with it. he came so often that if a visit to the doctor's didn't end with him around, it'd be weird, although i'd leave with my spirit lifted, and in disbelief.
But time passed anyhow, and i'm here typing this. a deserving break i tell myself. i didn't even foresee how good this would feel. the joy of another chapter of my life is coming to an end, the relief of walking away from work, saying 'goodbye, thank you for the year or so, i'm leaving now'. i never really got involved in work other than my physical presence, i didn't see the need to anyway. i get to work each day looking forward to the end of it. it isin't the best of attitudes i know, but please try to understand. although i still have the same end point in mind, i'm happier each day. not because the day is nearing, but i guess i'm learning. learning to just get on with life, to get along with others, the sun will still set and rise soon after, no?
I hope you could feel the joy inside me, though you probably can't. but it's alright,
i'll dance here on my own :)
Time is running out and i'm starting to get scared really. there's so many of you whom i'd like to talk to, i wish i could chain time right here right now, i do.
but let's just get out into the sun, have some fun, and smile...
posted by emoss at 9:38 PM
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